You carefully descend the moss-ridden steps.
Torch held high, sword at the ready. You reach the bottom of the stairs. A massive door looms, marked with gouges from rabid claws and scorches of wayward spells.
You sheath your sword and are about to try the handle when you notice something. Off to the right, there is a small tunnel. Curious, you duck in and follow it. It leads to a small, dimly lit chamber. A dusty wooden counter greets you. On it rests a metal plaque. "Dungeon of Danger: Lost and Found." You peak over the counter. A series of boxes neatly line the back wall. What will you discover?
Yes, this is another edition of the Power and Thrill of Naming Things, an exercise in creativity.
Box 1: Weapons
- Dragon-slaying ax, slightly dented
- Crossbow of a Thousand Arrows, quiver empty
- Three very small knives, possibly from matching kitchen set
- Hilt of gilded dueling saber, personalized nameplate reads 'Sir Bradley'
- Five-foot long two-handed broadsword, reputed to be mighty
- Eight-foot long writing utensil, mightier than previous weapon
Box 2: Magical Artifacts
- Scroll of Make Scroll Disappear, premium edition
- Iron claw of the badger, depleted
- Strange blue ball with three holes, estimated to weigh 12 pounds
- Standard Number 2 wand, chew marks on end
- Book of Inappropriate Spells, heavily redacted
- Disobedient bottle golem, currently making rude gesture
Box 3: Treasure
- Paper IOU from Accountavis Nonredivis the Wizard
- Rare material coveted by the sky-fairies (box of dirt)
- Counterfeit coins, three bags
- Counter-counterfeit coins, three bags
- Potbellied pig statue, beloved idol of the Bacon Ogres
- Coupon for buy-one get-one-free sword from the Sword Emporium, expired
Box 4: Miscellaneous
- Screaming battle beetle, empty box of earplugs
- McGuffin, unused
- Bright purple potion, 50/50 chance between deadly poison or sports drink
- Fidget spinner, grants -1 Fortitude
- Eel-skin boots, last season's style
- Judge's Gavel, grants +1 Intelligence
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