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The Power and Thrill of Naming: Multiverse Museum Exhibits

You adjust your visitor's badge.  

As the first Earthling to be allowed into the museum, you want to make a good first impression.  Ever since the portal opened up beside the Best Buy in the Cities, you've been waiting.  Now, the day is finally here.  The Multiverse Museum is finally open to the public.

Sure, the vicinity around the portal has been the target of strange things lately.  Liquid fire.  Gross monstrosities the size of buildings.  Glowing cubes with too many sides.  Maybe that's why you're the only one going in today.

No matter, you're about to witness the historical magnificence of a multiverse worth of worlds and cultures.  That is, if you survive.  Good thing the visitor's badge came with a complementary laser gun.

Get your camera ready, this is another edition of the Power and Thrill of Naming Things, an exercise in creativity.

Exhibit 1: Rotunda of Aether Archeology
  • Smoky ruins from Reverse-Atlantis
  • Rare vinyl tapes from Earth2
  • Anti-matter graffiti from New Roanoke
  • Tachyon Trebuchet from Planet of the Mesons
  • Intellectual property from the Marvel Universe
  • Essay entitled 'Proletariats and They're Problem's:: An Short introduction' preserved in rock from the Galaxy of Grammer Heretics
Exhibit 2: Hall of Unnatural History
  • Tyranoctopus rex skeleton
  • Cthulhu hatchling petting enclosure
  • Mummified remains of chinchillas made out of squarks
  • Footprints of Bigfoot, Mediumfoot, and Ratheronthesmallsidefoot
  • Shell collection from the screaming gastropods of Illium 5
  • Ethanal jar with last known remains from the rabbit that attacked Jimmy Carter
Exhibit 3: Steps of Seven-Dimensional Science
  • Diorama, "Extra-super-duper-booper String Theory"
  • Video presentation, "Gravity, Fact or Fiction?"
  • Interactive kiosk, "Hypernovas and Other Things That Go Boom"
  • Audio tour, "What Numbers Really Are and Why We Can't Trust Them"
  • Information booth, "So, You've grown an Extra Head: A Beginner's Guide to Extracephomania"
  • Display case, "Weird Elements That Don't Get Invited to Cool Elemental Parties"
Exhibit 4: Gateway to the Great Innovators of Time and Space
  • Mecha-Lincoln's stovepipe hat
  • Biopic of Richard James, inventor of slinky and secret Time Lord
  • Pen from the desk of Lppyx Xylaxiflaggle, eighty-ninth Space President of the United States
  • Bust of Bob Thompson, the janitor who saved the Multiverse last Tuesday by throwing away that strange black box that showed up in the breakroom
  • Sofa from Spudow XI, Emperor of Potatoes and Steward of the Salted Realms
  • Statue of your future self, who is also your grandfather
Exhibit 5: Snack Bar
  • Lava-squirrel kebabs
  • Unspeakable horror, fries, and medium Pepsi
  • Seared cosmic mahi-mahi on a bed of white dwarfs
  • Coca-Cola starlight
  • Actual starlight (available in regular and sugar-free)
  • Soylent Neon

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